Back again

Been busy, but needed to talk about a few things before I go to bed.

I need to vent about the speech pathologist. I think she has been frustrating me from the start, but I haven't put my finger on it. I spoke to her again today and not I need to vent!
So we've been seeing an awesome speech path (SP) and the hospital, her name is D. She has been so good, we've seen her since Holly was about 2 months old. She taught us about getting the right teat for Holly and putting thickener in her food so she can swallow properly. When we got picked up by the intervention service, there is a SP at the service so we have to leave D and go with the one there. The other day when we started solids, D and the new one, S, were there together to do a little bit of a hand over thing.
So, right from the start D has used a stethoscope to hear whether Holly is swallowing properly, and when we were there the other day she did it again as soon as Holly started drinking. D offered S to listen and she said she'd never done that before. I thought that sounded a bit strange - why wouldn't she have done that before? I thought, oh well, she might have just been trained differently or something and we kept going with the session. I was talking to the dietitian a while later and S was talking to D and asking her about whether Holly has any motor coordination. D told her she'd have to ask me, it was just as I had finished my conversation with the dietitian so I turned and said no, she doesn't have any motor coordination and I explained that that part of her brain didn't grow, so she will never have coordination. S said, oh well I haven't given up on her. Love, I haven't either, don't know why she would said that!
Anyway, I wasn't sure if she had seen a copy of the neurologist report which actually explains that, so I said to her that if she didn't have a copy of the report I could get one for her if she wanted to read it. None of this was nasty or aggressive or anything, just conversation. I wasn't sure what she had or didn't have. So we continued on with the session and as we were packing up S and I were standing together and I asked her if there was anything she needed. I'd be happy to get her copies of any reports or anything she needed. Her words to me were "you do understand that M (the physio) and I share the file. You understand that don't you?" God, that's like a red rag to a bull with me! I hate being spoken to like that. I DO understand lady - your the one who clearly doesn't know what Holly is capable of because you haven't read the report. And if you share the file with M, why haven't you read it before you came so you'd know she doesn't have any motor coordination!
So, forward to today. She had rang last week and we were so busy with the house I didn't have time to ring her back. I got onto it today and we were chatting away. She basically asked me the same thing again today in a round about way.
She asked if Holly is mouthing at anything or putting anything in her mouth. I said no, she can't put anything in her mouth, she doesn't have any intentional motor movements so she can't. She went on cause we were talking about Holly's eating and teething. She suggested that we get Holly a teething rusk and see how she goes with it. I was going, ummm, love, she can't hold it! I said to her, that would imply that L or I have to stand there with the rusk so she can suck on it. Like I have absolutely nothing better to do with my time than to sit there with Holly and hold her rusk in!! It just feels like she has absolutely no understanding of Holly's condition, she's going off normal kids, not special needs kids. I don't think she's read the neuro's report at all. She is really frustrating me. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to deal with it. We'll get someone else when we move so it won't matter too much. I just hope that the next person does read the report! I shouldn't have to explain to her what Holly is or isn't going to be capable of doing. Its not like I'm giving up on her, I'd love it if she was capable. But those sections of her brain didn't grow. Its not like it there was once that section and it got damaged so new pathways need to form or something, her brain just isn't there. Its almost like sometimes you feel like saying to people - don't you get it? She just isn't going to do it! Its like THEY haven't come to terms with it themselves!
That reminds me of another post one of the hydran mothers had written the other day. Its changed my attitude a little with things like feeding. This mum was saying about how her son likes to be held a certain way, he cries if he's not held a certain way. When people ask to hold him, she shows them but inevitably they people hold him the way THEY feel comfortable, not what is comfortable for the boy, so the boy cries and the people wonder why he's crying!! I've taken this attitude with Holly and her feeding. She is fussy with the way she has to be held. L and I are good at it and she is used to us obviously. People ask to feed her all the time, I say sure - the more people who learn how to feed her the better - makes it easier to find a babysitter!! Anyway, I show people how to do it, they start out doing it right, but then fall back to the way that THEY feel comfortable and low and behold, Holly screams cause she wants the milk, but isn't comfortable. My attitude has totally done a 360! I so don't care anymore. If those people don't' want to listen to the way we have told them, then when it is there time to babysit, they are the ones who have to contend with a screaming baby, not me!I figure they can either listen to us show them how Holly likes it, or they can do it their way and have her cry. Doesn't bother me cause I won't be there when your babysitting! And generally speaking we aren't away from her for more than one feed and if she misses half a feeding a day then I'm not too concerned. Its your problem people, not mine!!!